When Life Happens

When Life Happens

Sometimes life happens.
Sometimes life happens and its ok to admit that it’s hard.

I normally don’t write posts like the one in the picture. I know parenting is hard, and I know that YOU know that parenting is hard. MOST times social media is not the right outlet to complain. Maybe I should repeat that…


Ok, Back to your regularly scheduled post…

As I said, I do not normally write posts like this, but the exuberant amount of unadulterated chaos happening at my house at that time was so overwhelming it was humorous! Seriously, here is the low down:

2 out of 3 of the kids were screaming
The baby was screaming to be held in between shoving amazing amounts of green beans in his mouth and promptly choking on them. (Or screaming because we wouldn’t let him shove more in) Before dinner he was screaming because he wanted dinner.
My 4 year old was throwing a fit, screaming that she is mad, running around the house (for the millionth time NO RUNNING IN THE HOUSE) and asking for more food (If you know her, this makes complete sense). Before dinner she was asking for food. EVERY.KIND. OF.FOOD.EVERY.BREATH.SHE.HAD.

The oldest is trying to be overly calm because he feels the chaos in the house. With his mini-notebook in hand, he has a million questions (which he asks VERY calmly) “Mommy, how do you spell AGAIN?” Mommy, will you teach me to crochet with a hook?” “Mommy, can I have my K’NEX back?” “Mommy, can I play with this toy that has tiny, microscopic pieces while the baby is right here?”

It always starts with “Mommy” and ends with me giving him this “Are you kidding?” look while holding a screaming baby and telling (yelling over the baby) the 4 year old to STOP RUNNING IN THE HOUSE!

Oh, did I mention that EVERY WINDOW IN THE HOUSE IS OPEN? Oh, yes, there’s that. While cooking dinner the hubby nearly smoked us out of the house. Seriously, we are talking open front door, red eyes, waving the smoke away from the fire alarm type of smoke. We were one step away from having to crawl around the house!

On top of that (oh yes! There’s more!) my husband had to leave for a meeting at the height of the chaos, smoke, screaming and dinner. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry! The only thing I could muster was “Please don’t leave me!” He promised me he would be gone for not very long and would bring back some wine. SOLD!

As soon as he left, the chaos in which I had mistakenly thought had climaxed, indeed increased…three-fold (I can neither deny or confirm this relation to the amount of children in the house). About 30-minutes in, the chaos got too much for me to bear and I gave in and called the hubby to return pronto because, no. As I heard it start to ring, I noticed a ringing sound coming from the counter…

No. This is not just happening.
This is when I started writing my Captain’s…I mean Mommy’s… Log.

Mommy’s Log:

Stardate 69593.6
I have just lost communication with the co-pilot. I must now trust that he will return to the mother-ship and not abandon his crew.

Stardate 69593.7
The co-pilot has been gone for a suspiciously long time for what was supposed to be a “short excursion”. I can only assume he is acquiring provisions of wine and cookies.

Stardate 69593.8
The princess of the crew is finally in her quarters. After much convincing, a firm talking to and a lullaby, I think she has officially retired for the evening.

Stardate: 69593.8
I am growing suspicious of the youngest member of the crew. He seems out of sorts. I suspect mutiny! Or he might just need a nap.

Stardate 69593.9
The co-pilot has finally returned! There was much rejoicing until we took inventory of the acquired provisions. Mistakes were make and in this time of crisis, there is no room for error!

Stardate 69593.9
The entire crew has finally retired to their quarters for the night. The oldest of the crew was commended for his assistance and bravery in a time of crisis. I still have my suspicions about the youngest. I must keep a close watch overnight and the days to come.

and on top of that, we are out of wipes.

***These are actual stardates based on a stardate calculator from TrekGuide.com.

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No, You Cannot Eat My Baby


So having just had a baby, all the wonderful comments people made about Baby G after he was born are still pretty fresh in my head. Most of my friends, a lot of them being young moms, were wonderful and gracious and knew exactly what I needed to hear. Not all people are that tactful. While we usually respond to people’s comments with nice sweet responses like, “Yes, he’s growing fast” and “Thanks, we think he’s cute too” we usually want to say something else. So here is to the well meaning old lady at the grocery store, or the sweet couple at church, or anyone else that asks these questions because here are the answers we wish we could say:

No, you cannot hold him.
He’s my baby, he’s brand new and I want to hold him and I don’t want you to hold him. Nothing personal (well maybe) but I don’t want anyone holding my baby. MY BABY! I will let you know when you can hold him. How will you know? I will say, “Would you like to hold him?”

No, he’s not sleeping through the night.
Of course he’s not sleeping through the night! He shouldn’t be sleeping through the night yet and it will be a long while until he does, and I’m ok with that. I’ll sleep when he’s a toddler…haha, yeah right! I’ll sleep when he’s a teenager…wait, no. I’ll sleep when…when I’m dead, but for now I will snuggle and nurse my baby in the wee hours of the night.

No, you cannot “just pinch those little cheeks”
Umm, ouch! Would you like it if someone came up to you and pinched your cheeks? Come on! Don’t you remember that creepy great-aunt from your childhood that always pinched your cheeks and said something about how much you have grown? Do not be that creepy great aunt!

No, he is not “so tiny”.
He’s perfect. He fits in my arms perfectly. He fits into Daddy’s arms perfectly. He fits into newborn baby clothes and the doctor says he’s just fine. Please feed my mother insecurities that I am feeding not him enough, or often enough, because I don’t have enough to worry about.

No he is not “so big”.
I find it funny that one minute someone tells me my baby is tiny and the next someone is commenting about how chunky he is. But seriously, he’s not “so big”. At most he weighed ten pounds which not big. I have books heavier than my newborn! My 80-pound golden retriever is “so big”. Thanks, now I’m worried I’m over-feeding him!

No, you cannot “just kiss his little face”
Dude! I don’t know where those lips have been! I don’t know if you have been sick or if people around you have been sick. Keep those lips away from my baby! I’ll do the baby kissing and you and your lips can do the “ooo-ing and aww-ing” from a distance.

No, you cannot “just eat him up”.
Honestly, I have never understood this term and it kind of freaks me out. Yes, let me go up to new mom and tell her I want to eat her baby. Who thinks this is a good idea?! The answer is no, just no. Are you telling me he’s cute? Because if you are, you can just say he’s cute and I would understand.

Honestly, I loved showing off each of my babies to everyone when they were newborns. With a newborn comes the funny comments and questions, but at the end of the day we know these comments and questions come because they are gushing over our sweet babies. Gush away, sweet old lady in the grocery store, we took it as a compliment even if we gave you a sarcastic response.

No! No you cannot eat my baby!

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